This was the first week that writing felt like a chore. I am usually very excited to write about my week and look back through all of my pictures. Not this week. It took until tonight (TUESDAY!) to feel like I was ready. So I'm ready, so here we go.
I love teaching yoga. Andrew had some achy bones so I did a quick class with him at home. I love teaching yoga.
I don't have a full length mirror in my apartment...normally I don't really care because if I smash my head against my bathroom mirror and look down, I can sort of see what my lower half looks like. When I'm desperate I stand on my bathroom sink and almost kill myself trying to get up there. I had an interview on Monday and so I thought I should make the effort to see the lower half. I had to make sure I didn't look as I felt in these high heels: like a drag queen.
The interview went well. I won't be sad if I don't get this job...that might sound stupid but it's true. Let me explain....30+ people applied to this job. 7 were interviewed. I was 1 of 7. I know and love 4 of the others interviewed. A little handful of my friends also applied. No matter who gets this job, it will be a celebration.
I have a teaching license but I've never taught. I was offered my former job after graduating and I loved it so I only ever applied for one teaching job. That was 4 years ago. In that time my little blue piece of paper expired. This whole time I thought I had to take more classes to get it back and so it seemed really daunting. But Tuesday I found out that is not true. $35 and an application will allow me to teach again. Just have to be given that opportunity. Awesome.
Also. I made black bean patties (that word is hilarious to me for unknown reasons) from scratch and they turned out. Separately these ingredients looked awesome, together the little patties looked kind of stupid and funny but tasted good.
I painted my nails on Wednesday.
I was going to leave it at that but other awesome things happened. I also need to mention that little lead bunny that sits at the end of my nail polish. I love that little lead bunny. I also love lining colors up for display. (see week 1 post) It might be some sort of disorder in me but lining items up according to color is like the best.
Wednesday night I went to hang out with a lot of ladies. It is a once a month thing that a couple girls started so that fellow ladies-girls could get to know one another better. Normally, this is the very thing I would avoid. Honestly. So many people in one room makes me want to run. However, I went and I am happy I went. Their goal is for more of us to get to know one another better...because girls aren't really that easy on each other...especially ourselves. And so, I think it is easy to believe the lie that no one wants to know you. This wasn't the case and it was so so nice.
I spent time with two of my friends on Thursday. Katie and Katie. In high school I had two friends named Kristyn and Kristen. I couldn't help but think of that on Thursday night when I hung out with them. I think I was laughing so much I forgot to take pictures of the night. But that day I had taken a picture of the house I live in...they just so happen to live downstairs and I live upstairs...so this picture fits.
James & the Drifters played again tonight. I never tire of watching them, the music is just that good.
There was another band playing after them, so we watched from the balcony. These are my John Vanderslice shoes. One time I went to see The Tallest Man on Earth play at a local college. It was such an unbelievably small crowd...like I sat on a couch in front of him the whole time. Anyways, John Vanderslice was there watching him play too and I had just got these shoes so the yellow laces were extra bright. I swear I saw him looking at them. A couple of months later he posted a picture of himself wearing the same shoes on his blog. So what. He probably already had them, but a girl can dream.
This picture just sucks. So did my attitude that night. It happens. I let myself get to myself and I was just in a fog-ridden world. So maybe the picture doesn't suck, maybe it's perfect. Foggy just like my brain.
We went to Baan Thai with friends. I love the food and decided I will actually do something about learning to make Thai food. I've been saying that for a long time. I have the time so it is time to try.
Andrew and I came home and had tea and T.V. It was good to check out for a while.
Man, I doubt myself a lot. After writing this week , I realize this. I doubt that I'll ever get a job that is worth a damn. That I'll ever be better than now. That I'll ever feel comfortable in a crowd. That I'll ever be smart. That I'll ever be a good writer. That I'll ever be a good teacher. That I'll ever stop making lists like this. Even with my doubts, it's all still okay. I'm still really very happy. I just need to find a way to harness the doubt so that it's motivating, so that it doesn't destroy me.
"even with your doubts, it's okay." -local natives